Editorial Report

Here is a revision of an excerpt from Project 2.

Original:

Romantic comedies aren’t written to appeal to Southern baptists, just as war dramas aren’t written for toddlers. A massive amount of statistics are in play here; films that are meant to appeal to Broadway socialites (i.e 2014’s Birdman) are written to specifically accommodate the regions of New York and Los Angeles, and as such are produced on a lower budget than, say, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, which appeals to a massive market of all ages, a movie that will play in most countries. As such, the script must be formulated accordingly in order to prevent backlash that may lead to less members of a particular audience seeing said film.

Revised:

 According to a 2015 study by the Motion Picture Association of America, diversity is the main factor in the writer-audience relationship. While urban, caucasian populations tend to flock towards movies of any genre, particular races tend to stick to movies that are suited for them, whether they be historical dramas or starring a relatable actor in that racial category. Aside from demographic differences, a conflict of interest also arises when considering what audience will be interested in which genre. For example, films that are meant to appeal to Broadway socialites (i.e 2014’s Birdman) are written to specifically accommodate the regions of New York and Los Angeles, and as such are produced on a lower budget than, say, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, which appeals to a massive market of all ages, a movie that will play in most countries.

I changed the beginning of the paragraph to link to an expansive MPAA report on movie audiences based on demographic. This more effectively portrays the content than the simple analogy I previously used. This also changed the form slightly, as I  went form a more creating, dialogue-driven voice to a factual, informative one.