Local Revision: Wordiness

The tail section of my video is fairly wordy, so here's an attempt to remedy that.

Here's the original version:

The backlash of this decision was heavy for Sony, many Americans furious that the company would give in to the terrorists’ demands. -- Major figures in film voiced their thoughts on the matter, -- with even the President saying that he believed Sony had made a mistake in pulling the release. -- But even though it was officially scrubbed, the cancellation wasn’t the end for The Interview, with -- select theaters opting to wilfully screen the film, and Sony ended up releasing it for paid streaming online via sites like YouTube and iTunes, grossing $40 million in sales. -- So really, in the end, Sony was the only stakeholder who was negatively affected by the controversy, missing out on major box office numbers. -- The company took a major hit with the hacking, and they haven’t fully recovered since, -- with much of the high-ranking American staff being demoted and replaced by figures from the parent company in Japan. -- The FBI concluded that North Korea was most likely responsible for the Sony hack, in retaliation for the insulting film. -- As for the film itself, it’s.... fine. -- It currently sits at 51% on the Rotten Tomatoes meter. Which pretty much means, “You can pay money to watch this movie, or you could not do that, your life will literally not be any different having done either of those things.” -- The fact that this movie had so much happen leading up to it, it’s debatable as to whether the film lived up to the massive pile of controversy that it left behind.

Here's the revised version:

Sony was heavily criticized for this decision as many saw it as giving in to the demands of terrorists. This didn't spell the end for The Interview however, as it was successfully released for streaming on multiple media outlets. In the end, Sony was heavily damaged by the hacking (the FBI confirmed it was from North Korea) but most other stakeholders were left without a scratch. The film itself received a mixed reception from audiences, and has been available for viewing ever since.

Although the revision is more concise, I feel that the fine details listed in the original script visualize the controversy in a better light than just the quick facts. The longer paragraph also makes it  easier to follow the narrator's voice.